Starting a business with family or friends can be tough. It’s tough because it’s hard to remove emotions from regular business dealings. And we all know mixing emotions and business can lead to some bad decisions.
Anger is one of the most powerful human emotions. For some, it can completely inhibit their ability to make rational decisions. When they finally come out of their fiery rage, the situation is often worse than it was before. While anger is natural and should be expressed, you need to able to manage it properly. This takes emotional intelligence, and most of all strong mental habits.
Here are four mental habits that will help you manage your emotions.
Take a step back, and understand what’s triggering your anger.
It’s said that anger is a secondary emotion. This means it’s often triggered by something else. Maybe you’re anxious about a business deal that’s about to close. Or you’re worried about a big presentation coming up that you aren’t quite prepared for. Whatever it is, anger is usually a reaction to something that’s disturbing you.
Before you let that anger distract you from your work, or even worse lash out at others, try to identify the culprit. Do a deep dive into what’s on your mind. Truly ask yourself why you’re upset. It may sound simple, but very few people are able to admit what’s bugging them, even if it’s to themselves.
Shift towards a positive mindset.
This one is very much easier said than done. Especially when you’re angry. That said, it’s one of the strongest mental habits you can develop.
Positivity is contagious. If you think and speak positive, you will create a positive environment. When you’re upset, or things aren’t going as planned you should always try to find the silver lining. There is always light and the end of the tunnel, and there’s always a way to turn things around. If you train yourself to find the good in even the worst of situations, you will become mentally superior.
Create boundaries with negative influences.
Having healthy boundaries in business and in life is important. Whether it’s your eating habits or a work-life balance, these boundaries are essential. This same thing goes for negative people in your life. If you can’t isolate them completely, like an coworker or manager, just try to limit your exposure.
These boundaries can be both physical and emotional. On an emotional level, you need to tell yourself you won’t let this person push your buttons or affect your mood. Again, this comes down to emotional intelligence and discipline.
Respond after an argument, don’t react.
In business, arguments happen all the time. If egos are involved, they can get heated very quickly. Emotionally intelligent people know how to respond to an argument, not react.
The difference mostly comes down to timing. More often than not, you shouldn’t respond right away. That’s because the situation is emotionally charged. You need to be the one to step back and assess the situation without drama. This way you can think rationally, and formulate a more constructive response. If you react to the other person’s aggression by saying something back, it’ll just make the situation worse.
In order to develop strong mental habits, it takes time. That said, make sure you start working on the four listed above. If you can practice these, you’ll be well much better at managing your emotions.
Renzo Costarella
Renzo Costarella is an entrepreneur, avid learner, and startup enthusiast currently living in Silicon Valley. He consults for several startups in the Bay Area and is pursuing a few ideas of his own.